Tag Archives: Barack Obama

Barack’s Bullshit Bingo

 Here is something to help make Obama’s speeches almost tolerable. Just print out this page, distribute it to friends, and listen… (be sure to read directions at the bottom)

Rules for Bullsh*t Bingo:

1. Before Barrack Obama’s next televised speech, print your “Bullsh*t Bingo”
2. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.
3. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout “BULLSH*T!” [or shout out “PELOSI” (means the same thing)]
Testimonials from past satisfied “Bullsh*t Bingo” players:

“I had been listening to the speech for only five minutes when I won.” – Jack W., Boston 

“My attention span during speeches has improved dramatically.” – David D.,   Florida 

“What a gas! Speeches will never be the same for me after my first win.” – Bill R., New York City 

“The atmosphere was tense in the last speech as 14 of us waited for the fifth box.” – Ben G., Denver

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Barack Obama is Not the Root of Our Problem…

“The danger to America is not Barack Obama but a citizenry capable of  entrusting a man like him with the presidency. It will be easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to an electorate willing to have such a man for their president. The problem is much deeper and far more serious than  Mr. Obama, who is a mere symptom of what ails us. Blaming the prince of  the fools should not blind anyone to the vast number of fools that made him their prince.  The republic can survive a Barack Obama. It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools such as those who made him their president.”

 — Author Unknown

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Divorce Agreement

 
 

American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950’s, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce….  I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let’s just end it on friendly terms.  We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion.  That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement.  After that, it should be relatively easy!  Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don’t like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.  You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.  Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.  You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We’ll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.  You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens.  We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and rednecks.  We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters.  When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security.

We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values..  You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain.  You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We’ll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars.  You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.  We’ll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.  We’ll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem.  I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute Imagine, I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We’ll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot.  Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name and our flag. 

Would you agree to this?  If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete.  In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you can’t answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall

Law Student and an American

P.S. ~ Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you..

P.P.S. ~ And we won’t have to press 1 for English.

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Lay Off Letter From An Excellent Boss

Dear Employees:

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.  To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%. But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead.

 This has really been bothering me since I believe we are family here and I didn’t know how to choose who would have to go.

So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found sixty ‘Obama’ bumper stickers on our employees’ cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go. I can’t think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change…I gave it to them.  I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic. 

 THE BOSS

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3 Lumps of Coal in Our Stockings

Lump #1: HEALTH CARE REFORM SELL OUT BRIGADE

The following senators sold their votes for this healthcare crapheap for money and special deals. They should be charged with a crime. Getting money and concessions for their states costs the rest of us more money.

1. Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-La.), sold her health care reform vote for $300 million.
2. Sen. Ben Nelson (D-Neb.) sold his vote for $100 million.
3. Sen. Chris Dodd (D-CT.) sold his vote for $100 million.
4. Sen. Carl Levin (D-MI) exempted his state’s insurance companies from a new $7 billion dollar tax.
5. Sen. Bernie Sanders (D-VT) got a $10 billion grant for community health centers that could perform abortions.
6. Sen. Tom Harkin (D-IA) got an increase in Medicare payments to hospitals in his state.
7. Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) got money for his state’s health care system.
8. Sen. Ron Wyden (D-Ore.) got concessions for insurance companies in his state.
9. Pennsylvania, New York and Florida got protections for their Medicare Advantage.
10. Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Utah and Wyoming got “FrontierFreebies” an increase in Medicare Payments to rural hospitals and doctors.
11. Sen. Barbara Mikulski (D-MD) said “I didn’t get the money for my state. I was too stupid.”

Here’s a great article with in-depth details on exactly who got what:

http://www.sodahead.com/united-states/if-health-care-reform-is-right-for-america-why-did-15-senators-need-bribes-who-exactly-got-what/blog-220861/

Please also note there’s language in the bill that binds future Congresses from changing it. See this write up for further details: http://blog.heritage.org/2009/12/23/beyond-the-constitution-the-healthcare-bill-violates-the-rule-of-law/?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=Morning%2BBell

 And, here’s one of the major Democrats pushing for the legislation, Max Baucus, apparently drunk on the Senate floor while debating it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5Y9X5ggxzA&feature=player_embedded

In the end, it sure seems clear to me that this bill has nothing to do with reforming healthcare (the left and the right are furious about it), and everything to do with putting an additional 1/6 of our economy under the control of the government (in addition to the financial services sector and auto manufacturing). Speaking of financial services, please see coal lump #2 below:

Lump #2: Surprise Gift from Tax Cheat Tim Geithner!

The Treasury announced Thursday it was removing the caps that limited the amount of available capital to Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to $200 billion each.

Unlimited access to bailout funds through 2012 was “necessary for preserving the continued strength and stability of the mortgage market,” the Treasury said.

Fanny and Freddie have essentially been given a blank check. The new package that will also pay Fannie Chief Executive Officer Michael Williams and Freddie CEO Charles Haldeman Jr. as much as $6 million a year, including bonuses. Remember that “Wall Street Fat-Cat” remark Obama made in his scolding speeches about the greedy financial services sector? Clearly a bunch of baloney.

More info on this story here: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB126168307200704747.html

Lump # 3: International Police Operating in US Now Exempt From Our Laws

On 12.17, President Obama issued an executive order removing the Reagan limitations. That is, Interpol’s property and assets are no longer subject to search and confiscation, and its archives are now considered inviolable. This international police force (whose U.S. headquarters is in the Justice Department in Washington) will be unrestrained by the U.S. Constitution and American law while it operates in the United States and affects both Americans and American interests outside the United States.

Why would we elevate an international police force above American law? Why would we immunize an international police force from the limitations that constrain the FBI and other American law-enforcement agencies? Why is it suddenly necessary to have, within the Justice Department, a repository for stashing government files which, therefore, will be beyond the ability of Congress, American law-enforcement, the media, and the American people to scrutinize?

Remember, Obama has said in several speeches he wants a civilian national security force as large, and as well funded, as the military. I guess an international police force operating in America is close enough for him.

 http://www.examiner.com/x-3704-Columbia-Conservative-Examiner~y2009m12d26-US-placed-under-international-policestate

http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/executive-order-amending-executive-order-12425

So while the Obama’s decided once again to skip church services (for Christmas), take heart that “gift giving” is still an integral part of their holiday celebration.

One Last Thing…

While our elected employees are running around enacting legislation and executive orders that do more harm than good to we average citizens, please review the attached link to see how terrible they also are at protecting the homeland: http://blog.heritage.org/2009/12/28/morning-bell-the-system-failed/

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When Private Sector Meets Public Sector

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Obama Bows to Another King!

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